fleeting moments of childhood
another year is quickly coming to a close, and i cannot help but wish i could put the brakes on time. when i think back to my childhood, i remember long drawn-out summers, filled with a perfect symmetry of adventure and idleness. time was on my side and my days were sluggishly delightful. fast forward twenty-plus years, and its getting harder and harder to recall where the time is slipping to. days pass with anxious fervor as i try to squeeze every last drop i can out of what seems like fleeting moments. i push harder and harder to BE EVERYTHING I WANT TO BE, and to DO EVERYTHING I WANT TO DO, as the clock just keeps mocking my attempts. i keep asking myself what magic secret i was privy to as a young girl that i have since lost knowledge of? how do i go back to the days that flowed like slow molasses through my life?
nothing chronicles the passing of time as much as my three children. every night before bed, i smother them with kisses and lean over to whisper in their ear **please, my sweet baby, don’t grow too much tonight** – which is always followed by a chorus of giggles, as if they understand the passage of time doesn’t allow for such humble requests. and so they grow… inch by inch… mile by mile, and the time won’t pause just because i politely ask it too.
when i was a young, naive mother, i thought i would be able to remember every single moment. how could i not, they were each so precious?!? but over time my memories have begun fading into the distance. i desperately try holding onto the chapters in my mind by lingering and drinking each moment in. and yet, truth be told, i feel the moments slipping by right through the crevices. i’m aware of all the time i’ve lost and the moments i will continue to lose as i try to juggle the fullness of my life. so this holiday, the biggest wish on my list, is that i am able to enjoy all the simple joys of the season with these three sweet babies of mine, and that in so doing i am able to make it as magical and memorable as a mother possibly can.